Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Feelings that Come from The Idea of Home

I recently moved, again, and have found the feeling of home permeating from this new location more than I have anywhere else. Why that is I have yet to discover, but I am sure over time I will.

Growing up, I was from a small town which and which I was on the outskirts there of on top of it. I had no way of riding my bike into town nor did I even have the courtesy of having a bus stop nearby to take me anywhere. I relied on my parents and my own ingenious to keep my occupied. My parents wonder why it is that I am very introverted and I while I would like to blame my father's own hermit tendencies for this, I know that it has to do more with the idea that I really had no other choice. Being such is not the worst thing in the world, but it does make certain situations hard to maneuver through.

When I moved away from my parents I moved into a small clique of people and have yet to really move away from them. I even married a member of this clique, which, in hindsight, may have been rash, but has not, so far, been a bad thing. He, ironically, is more outgoing than I am even though he did not have anymore advantage of being able to go out into the world than I did. We are both introverts and this sometimes gets into the way of being together and becoming extroverts with each other.

We moved to Florida to try out something different and it showed us a little bit more of who we were. The feeling of not belonging was harsh with us and the idea of being home never once entered either of our minds. This is probably why it took us only ten months to decide that this was a bad choice. It is a choice that I am glad we had gotten to take, but it had not been what we were looking for.

We then moved back to California and while my husband was worried that he had picked out somewhere that I was not going to like... I have loved it the most out of all the places I have ever lived. There is a feeling of home that I have never felt before. I hope I continue to feel this way and am able to stay here for a long time.

That feeling of home is like a warm blanket that I just want to lay in without ever getting up. Sleeping in my bed is the most comfortable I have ever had it be and that is hard to say since my bed is already extremely comfortable. However, there is something about the way the sun hits the cement and the air that is outside. Just a comfort that makes me smile even on days that it is hard for me to smile.


Written on Orble.com May 15th, 2010

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